you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
