I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize