So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize