You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
