i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize