At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Randomize
