How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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