just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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