If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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