Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize