Non-Jews are for practice
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
