think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
