how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
