It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
