I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
