You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
