Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
