It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
