I must be too annoying 4 u.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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