i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
