The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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