It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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