cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
