The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
