I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
They are going to name an STD after you.
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