just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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