I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We don't watch enough power rangers
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
