i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
