Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
