now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
