I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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