I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
