I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
