I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
