dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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