Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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