Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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