literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
