I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
