i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
