oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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