5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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