Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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