Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
