ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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