so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
