Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
