Its about making memories worth repressing
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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