Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
