I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
