i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
