So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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