You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
