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• (408): View more from California

  carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.

  (415): View more from California

  be there in 3 mins

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• (210): View more from Texas

  How crunk are you?

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i would one night stand the shit outta him

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.

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• (408): View more from California

  She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit

  (1-408): View more from California

  I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards

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• (206): View more from Washington

  But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.

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