her vagine was all disorganized.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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