I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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