they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
