I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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