so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize