Pappa wants mamma naked
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
